


Freesia to Trust Him

by angelofthequeers



Series: Beelicious [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Because Cas is freaking badass, But he's a fucking badass okay, Castiel Has Issues, Castiel has Anxiety, Don't worry it doesn't happen, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family Issues, Flowers, Fluff, Funeral, Hugs, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It'll make sense in chapter 2, Kissing, Language of Flowers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Protective Dean Winchester, Romance, That one's not for Cas, Uh yeah so there's a new permanent addition to the series, creepy Ketch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-31 11:59:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12681450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthequeers/pseuds/angelofthequeers
Summary: Cas swore he'd never go back to Chicago under any circumstances...that is, until Gabriel's wife is killed in an accident and he's invited to the funeral. Dean, being the awesome boyfriend he is, agrees to go in a heartbeat. While back in Chicago, Cas comes face-to-face with an unpleasantly familiar face from his pastbut being the BAMF fucker he is he pretty much owns it because Cas is amazing and we all know it. Also, he and Dean gain a rather unexpected surprise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> So…yeah, it’s been two months. I’ve just been so busy with university and now my NaNoWriMo project (I’m 30,000 words in!) but I figured that I’d try and get some Beelicious out!
> 
> Edit: changed the tense to past for reasons explained in the next chapter.

 

“Cas? What’s up?”

Numbly, Cas let the letter he was holding slip through his fingers and onto his lap. Dean carefully picked it up to read.

“Oh,” Dean murmured after the tensest minute Cas had experienced in a long time. “Cas –”

“I can’t.” Cas’ voice broke. “I can’t go back to Chicago. I can’t face them again. Especially – not _him_ –”

It wasn’t until Dean pulled him into a hug that he realised how ragged his breathing was. He buried his nose in the crook of Dean’s neck, using the man’s scent of motor oil and body wash to ground himself while he struggled to regain control.

“But – I can’t just leave Gabriel,” Cas said shakily. “Not after – everything he’s done for me.”

“He’d understand, Cas,” Dean said firmly. “He’s the one who helped you get out, isn’t he? He wouldn’t want you to go back if it would hurt you.”

Cas took a deep, shuddering breath, then shook his head.

“I – I have to go,” he said, voice muffled in the meat between Dean’s shoulder and neck. “For Gabriel. I mean, he just – he just lost his _wife_. If I lost you…god, he’d be here in a heartbeat.”

Cas pulled back, staring Dean right in the eye. His stomach swooped at the serious but tender look in those bright green depths. “Come with me,” he said quickly. “Please. I was going to catch a plane, but we can drive if you want – I just don’t want to be alone, please, I know I can do this if you’re there with me –”

He was cut off by Dean swiftly pressing their lips together, raising one hand to cup Cas’ cheek while rubbing the thumb of his other hand over one of Cas’ hipbones under his shirt. Cas immediately melted with a soft moan, sagging into Dean’s arms and breaking the kiss after a few moments to rest his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I just…I know how much it would hurt if I lost you,” Cas said quietly as Dean started to toy with his hair. “Then I multiply that because Gabe and Kali have been married since just before I left Chicago and…I have to go back and be there for him, just like he was there for me after I left Arthur.”

Dean kissed him on the top of his head. “I get it. You’re amazing, Cas. And damn straight I’m coming with you. Like I was even gonna let you go by yourself.”

“Let me?” Cas said, pulling back to raise an eyebrow. Dean immediately backpedalled.

“I mean – not _let_ you – I can’t tell you what to do –”

Unable to keep a straight face, Cas laughed and pecked Dean on the lips.

“I’m joking, Dean. I know what you mean. And…I’m so grateful that you’re doing this for me.”

“Hey, I know you’d do the same for me.”

* * *

 

Three days later, after sorting out their jobs and making other arrangements, the two of them cruised into Chicago. Back in these familiar streets after years, Cas’ breathing started to pick up and he was forced to close his eyes and lean back, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself.

“Hey.” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and squeezed. Cas squeezed back. They hadn’t had to do their squeezing game in a long time and the pressure soothed him greatly. “It’ll be okay, Cas. You got that? And if we run into Arthur, I’ll punch him in the face.”

Cas smiled weakly. Much as he appreciated Dean’s effort, the mention of the man he’d been trying not to think about just ignited a spark of anxiety in his gut and he swallowed heavily.

“Thank you, Dean,” he said, then raised his fist and knocked on the door. After a moment, it was opened to reveal a middle-aged woman with a sharp grey suit and auburn hair tied back in a tight bun.

“Castiel,” she said neutrally. Cas swallowed and nodded.

“Mother,” he said as evenly as he can. He squeezed Dean’s hand. “Dean, this is my mother, Naomi Novak. Mother, this is Dean Winchester, my…boyfriend.”

Naomi studied Dean as though he was a rather interesting specimen. To his credit, Dean didn’t squirm very noticeably, though he was squeezing Cas’ hand tighter than usual.

“Come in,” Naomi said suddenly. Caught off-guard, Cas stumbled in the doorway but Dean was quick to catch him with a nervous little grin.

The house was still as grand as usual. While Cas’ family was never rich, they were certainly well-off, and it showed in every piece carefully chosen and arranged under Naomi’s critical eye. When they entered the living room, they found Naomi already waiting for them next to a man with blond hair and a chiselled face. In one of the chairs, playing on a 3DS, was Cas’ youngest brother, who looked up and beamed.

“Cas!” fifteen-year-old Alfie exclaimed, dumping his console to spring off the armchair and throw his arms around Cas. Cas couldn’t help but laugh as he hugged Alfie back.

“Hello, Alfie,” he said, running his fingers through Alfie’s sandy hair. Alfie pulled back and grinned wider, his eyes sparkling in the exact same shade of blue that they shared. “Where are the others?”

“Jonah’s in New York at college,” Alfie rambled as he returned to his seat and Cas sat down next to Dean on one of the couches. “Nathan moved to Houston and Mira’s probably down at Dot’s diner with Ishim.” Alfie made a face. “I don’t know what she sees in him.”

“Thank you, Alfie,” Naomi said. “Now, please go to your room and play.”

“But Mother, I haven’t seen Cas in –”

“Do as your mother says,” Bart Novak said sternly. Alfie pulled another face but did what he was told, scooping up his 3DS and skulking towards the stairs.

“Now,” Naomi said with a rather cold smile that physically chilled the room. “Dean Winchester. We’d like to know all about you.”

* * *

 

“Christ, your mother’s one scary lady,” Dean whispered when they’d finally escaped Naomi and Bart’s interrogation. They’d made it into Cas’ old room and closed the door, and Cas didn’t know whether to feel bitter or not at the fact that there was an air mattress on the floor that was clearly intended for Dean. He really should have guessed, though, considering the Novak and Milton families’ shared distaste for people like him. Only the Shurleys didn’t have a problem with whether Cas was sticking his dick in a girl or another guy. He paused. Wow, that was something Dean would’ve said. His boyfriend had really rubbed off on him.

“Tell me about it,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just glad she didn’t ask me how my business is going. The last thing I need is to see that look of disappointment because I didn’t become a doctor or a lawyer or some other prestigious thing.”

“Well, I’m happy you became a florist.” Dean reeled Cas in by the loops on his jeans and pressed a kiss to Cas’ lips. Cas hummed and eagerly kissed back. “You helped me give the best ‘fuck you’ to Crowley. And I never would’ve met you otherwise.”

“Would you still like me if I was a douchebag lawyer?” Cas teased, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck.

“I’d like you no matter what,” Dean said seriously. He lasted about two seconds before snorting. “I mean, Sammy’s a douchebag lawyer and I still like him, so there’s hope for you.”

Cas laughed and buried his face in Dean’s chest. “Actually…I have something for you,” he said, untangling himself from Dean. Dean watched curiously as Cas bent down to rummage in his bag, then straightened up with a bunch of yellow and purple flowers. “Freesias. Innocence, trust. I…wanted to show you how much I trust you by letting you in this much. The only ex who ever met my parents was Arthur and that’s because he was always around.”

Dean was quiet for a minute.

“Did I do something wrong?” Cas said nervously. Dean shook his head.

“Hell no,” he said. “I just…Christ, Cas, you just trust me so much and I can’t – I just can’t.” He leaned in and captured Cas’ lips in a sweet kiss. “Thank you,” he murmured against Cas’ lips. Cas just smiled and kissed him back.

“Of course, Dean.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own SPN.
> 
> Exams are ooooooover! Maybe now I can try and update this more regularly XD Also, I’m changing the first chapter of this fic to past tense and staying in past tense from now on, because I’ve been using past tense for my NaNo project and it’s doing my head in trying to convert back to present and then past.
> 
> Also, things get a little non-con here, but trust me, Cas is NOT a victim. It’s necessary for his growth and process of finally starting to erase Arthur from his life for good.
> 
> Thanks to Midnight_Reads, Dean_The_princess_Winchester, Krystalstar22, Umbreon and LokiNeedsHugs1031 for your comments :)

 

The funeral for Kali Shurley was a sombre affair. Most of Cas’ extended family was present, except for his aunt Amara and her children as they couldn’t make it over from Europe. Also absent was Luke, Gabriel’s older brother, as he was currently in prison with the Shurley-Novak-Milton clan pretending he didn’t exist. Quite frankly, Cas was relieved that he wouldn’t have to see Luke, because he’d always been rather unsettled by his older cousin.

“Looking good, Cassie,” a very flat Gabriel said to Cas at the post-funeral reception. “Getting out of this place was the best thing you ever did.”

Cas smiled sadly and pulled his cousin into a hug. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I know you loved Kali very much.”

Gabriel’s fingers dug into Cas’ back, clutching at his suit jacket. The shorter man trembled, like he was two seconds from bursting into tears, and Cas wanted to encourage him to let it out but also knew that crying in front of the whole family would only make Gabriel feel worse. After a few minutes, Gabriel pulled back and shot Cas a near-convincing smile.

“So, where’s this Dean guy you’ve told me about?” he said. “I need to make sure that the guy who won my baby cousin’s heart is worthy.”

“Gabe,” Cas complained, though without any heat. “He’s over there, talking to Alfie. I’ll take you to introduce –”

“Nope,” Gabriel said. “I want to talk to him myself. I need to get a feel for him without you there to comfort him.”

Cas wanted to complain about being treated like a baby but honestly, he was glad to see Gabriel trying to act like his usual self. At least it meant that he wasn’t brooding. Yet.

“Just don’t talk to anyone,” Gabriel added. “Dear Aunt Naomi told everyone that her ‘poor, lost son has fallen into bed with a man’ and I don’t think you’re really anyone’s fave right now.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Cas said with a forced smile. It wasn’t really a surprise to hear what his mother had done but it still cut deeply all the same. “Please don’t break Dean.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave your boy toy intact,” Gabriel said. “Be back in a few.”

Cas was left standing by the refreshments, carefully not meeting anyone’s eye and consequently inviting them over to criticise him for his failings and tell him that he was going to Hell for shacking up with a guy. His stomach started to twist anxiously, though thankfully it was manageable enough that he wasn’t going to lose it in front of everyone.

“Castiel!”

Cas froze on the spot. That voice…it couldn’t be. Not here.

“It is you, Castiel!” Arthur Ketch stopped directly in front of Cas, far too close for comfort. “My word, you’ve changed. You’re far handsomer than I remember.”

“A-Arthur.” It came out as a squeak. “What are you –?”

“Well, after you physically assaulted me and left me, I was forced to move on, wasn’t I?” Arthur said. Cas flinched at the very pointed blame in his ex’s words. No. He couldn’t let Arthur put this on him. _He_ wasn’t the abusive one here and it wasn’t his fault! “Your lovely cousin Haley was there to comfort me and now?” Arthur held up his left hand, displaying his glimmering golden ring. “Well, she allows me to call her Hael, did you know? What a privilege.”

Oh god. This couldn’t be happening. Why couldn’t Arthur just shove right off and leave him the hell alone? But no, the British dick had to worm his way into the family and keep that tentative little hold on Cas, even miles away.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t talk to me,” Cas rasped, shoving his madly trembling hands into his pockets to hide how close to an anxiety attack he was. If his hyperventilating didn’t sort itself out soon then he was likely to faint, and fainting in front of his abusive ex was the _last_ thing he wanted to do. “I don’t think Hael would like her – her husband talking to his ex.”

“Oh, but I’ve missed you, darling,” Arthur said. “I was distraught when I learned that you’d left me. I was ready to forgive you for hitting me like that and disrespecting me.”

“Forgive _me_?” Cas laughed harshly, blood rushing in his ears. “You’re the one who abused me for years!”

“Abuse? Is that how you thank me for choosing to stay with you when I could have had far better?”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare play those mind games again.” Cas clenched his fists in his pockets. “I’m free, Arthur. I’m free and you won’t mess with me again.”

Arthur sighed. Before Cas could register what was happening, Arthur had looped their arms together and was leading him away from the main congregation, towards a quieter area in the venue. He should have struggled. He shouldn’t have allowed Arthur to lead him away. But he was trying so hard to stop himself from descending into a panic attack that by the time he realised what Arthur was doing, they were in a smaller, quieter room.

“That’s better,” Arthur said, shutting the door behind them. “Now we can talk without fear of interruption.”

Cas was trapped. He was trapped in this room with Arthur, who was observing him with a gleam in the eye that sent another fresh wave of panic through Cas’ body. He’d seen that gleam before. Arthur had worn it whenever he had total power and knew it.

“L-Let me out,” Cas whispered, backing away until he hit the wall behind him. Arthur sauntered over slowly and leaned in, trapping Cas against the wall.

“We have so much to catch up on, darling,” Arthur said, cupping Cas’ cheek. Cas swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat as Arthur stroked his cheek with a thumb. “You have no idea how utterly devastated I was to lose you.”

“Me? Or your punching bag?” Cas was proud that he’d said that without stammering but it only made Arthur smile in amusement.

“My, you’re rather feisty,” Arthur said. “All that respect I taught you seems to have been forgotten. I suppose I’ll have to give you a reminder.”

He leaned in and crushed his lips to Cas’. Cas went utterly still, rooted against the wall as Arthur kissed him sloppily, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest in terror. This couldn’t be happening. Why couldn’t he move? Why was he just frozen there like a useless pile of trash?

He was finally galvanised into action when one of Arthur’s hands slid over his crotch. In a split second, he’d lashed out and kneed Arthur in the groin and the other man collapsed like a sack of bricks.

“I refuse to be a victim anymore,” Cas snarled, towering over Arthur as he whimpered and curled up on the floor. “You don’t have any power over me, Arthur. Now, I’m leaving this room and if I ever see you again, I will slowly and painfully cut off your dick. Do you understand me?”

Arthur made a small sound. Cas kneeled down and grabbed a handful of the man’s dark hair, wrenching his tearful face up.

“I said, do you understand me?” Cas demanded.

“Y-Yes,” Arthur nodded frantically. Cas stood up, smiling.

“Excellent. Goodbye, Arthur.”

Cas left the room, his body so light that he was surprised he wasn’t walking on air. A part of him still couldn’t believe that he’d confronted his abusive ex and won!

“Cas!” Gabriel called when Cas re-entered the main room. Cas practically bounded over to where his cousin was talking to Dean and Alfie. “Did you jerk off in the bathroom or something?’

“No!” Cas said. “I ran into Arthur.”

There was dead silence.

“Shit,” Gabriel said. “I forgot to warn you he’d be here. I just wasn’t thinking, what with having to – you know, all this –”

“I’m sorry, what?” Dean said. He was all over Cas in a heartbeat, scooping Cas into his arms and holding him close. “You’re happy that you ran into your abusive ex-boyfriend?”

“You don’t understand!” Cas squirmed until Dean loosened his grip, though Dean still kept his arms around Cas. “I stood up to him! I kneed him in the groin and threatened him if he ever came near me again!”

As if on cue, he caught sight of Arthur skulking back into the main venue with a very rumpled suit. Arthur shot a look of pure malice at Cas, who managed to just smile back despite the way his heart rate began to pick up again. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to think about Arthur without his body reacting like this but at least he knew that he was strong and able to take care of himself now.

“How hard did you hit him?” Alfie said in a slightly high voice, unconsciously covering his own groin.

“Hard enough for him to get the message,” Cas said in satisfaction. “He won’t be bothering me ever again.”

“I’m so freaking proud of you.” Dean kissed Cas on the cheek, then turned to the refreshments table and plucked a white flower out of one of the arrangements. “I have no idea what this means but I don’t care.”

“White heather,” Cas said softly, accepting the flower from Dean. “‘Protection, wishes will come true’.”

“See, I told you that you were strong!” Dean said. “I’m always gonna protect you and you can damn well protect yourself. It’s a sign.”

Cas just beamed and nuzzled into the crook of Dean’s neck, pressing light little kisses there.

“Uh, room of homophobes, remember?” Gabriel said. “You might wanna tone it down. Also, you two are sickeningly sappy.”

Cas winced and pulled away but made no move to separate himself from Dean. Gabriel sighed.

“Well, I’m gonna go and pretend that I’m all sunshine and rainbows, even though I’ll probably drink myself into a coma tonight,” he said. “Good to see you again, Cassie.”

“Poor guy,” Dean said as Gabriel shuffled off to talk to a tall, dark man. “This must’ve wrecked him.”

“Gabe’s strong,” Cas said uncertainly. “He’ll make it through this.”

Before Dean or Alfie could reply, a tall man with neat dark hair approached them.

“Castiel,” he said. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Michael,” Cas said evenly. Michael Shurley had never been a particularly bad family member but he’d never been one of Cas’ favourites either. “How is Eve?”

“We broke up years ago.” Michael looked down, fidgeting. “Actually…my current partner is a man called Adam. And I…wanted to thank you, Castiel. If you hadn’t had the bravery to be yourself despite our family’s attitudes, I may never have had the courage to ask Adam out despite the backlash.”

“What does Uncle Chuck think?” a stunned Cas said. Of all the family members he might have suspected were queer, straight-laced Michael was definitely not one of them. That’d teach him to judge a book by its cover.

“He doesn’t care,” Michael said. “He said that so long as I’m happy, he’s utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. Actually, that’s why I’m here. Father wants to talk to you.” He pointed out where Chuck was talking to Naomi and their uncle Zachariah across the room, holding the hand of a small, unfamiliar boy. Cas immediately looked at Dean.

“Be quick, okay?” Dean gave him a quick kiss. “I’m bored as fuck.”

Cas nodded and approached Chuck. As he drew near, Chuck looked up at him, which then earned him the attention of Naomi and Zachariah.

“Excuse me,” Chuck said before Naomi or Zachariah could say anything. When Cas reached him, Chuck quickly drew him to one side. The little boy obediently followed. “It’s good to see you again, Cas.”

“You too, Uncle Chuck,” Cas said. He was slightly surprised when Chuck drew him into a quick hug, patting him on the back. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Chuck sighed and ran a hand through his curly brown hair.

“This is a huge favour, Cas,” he said. “Seriously, feel free to say no if you’re nowhere near up to it.”

“What is it?” Cas said curiously. Chuck sighed again but this time, he looked down at the child standing next to him. The boy couldn’t be more than three or four years old, with straight, pale brown hair and eyes as blue as Cas’ and Alfie’s, and he looked so familiar but Cas was having trouble figuring out just why.

“This is Jack,” Chuck said. “Jack Kline. He’s my grandson. Luke’s son.”

“Excuse me?” Cas tried to think of something else to say but drew a blank. What else could he say?

“I know,” Chuck said in a long-suffering voice. “I had no idea he existed until his mother contacted me a few months ago. She was dying and she didn’t want her family to get their hands on Jack in case they mistreated him.”

“Why would they mistreat him?” Cas said. “He’s a kid. A very adorable kid.”

Chuck looked around uncomfortably before leaning in.

“Kelly…didn’t exactly consent to having a kid, if you know what I mean,” he whispered. Cas swallowed, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. “That wasn’t the reason Luke went to prison but it’s definitely a reason to keep him in there. I don’t know where I went wrong with him. I mean, what do you do when your own son does this stuff?”

“So, you’re worried that Kelly’s family will see Jack as a product of Luke and treat him as such?” Cas said carefully. Chuck nodded.

“Kelly was taking care of him just fine until the cancer caught up to her,” he said. “I agreed to take Jack in just days before she passed. What else could I do? He’s my grandson. But I’m not equipped to take care of more kids! Plus…what with how everyone else pretends that Luke doesn’t exist, I’m worried they won’t treat Jack very well either. Basically, neither side wants him, and as much as I want him, I can’t do this again. Not without Rebecca.”

Cas’ mouth downturned. Rebecca Shurley had died several years ago and Chuck had never been the same since, as she’d been the excessively enthusiastic glue that had held everyone together. He sincerely hoped that Gabriel wouldn’t turn out the same way in the wake of Kali’s death.

“Look, I’ve hardly seen you and I haven’t met Dean,” Chuck said. “But out of everyone here, I know you two could give Jack the best possible life. Face it, nobody here would care about him, would they? Even Michael and Raphael and Gabriel would see him as a mini Luke. And Kelly’s family certainly doesn’t want him.”

“Oh my god,” Cas said. “You – you want me to take care of a kid? I’m not – Uncle Chuck, I can’t –”

“I’ve heard from Gabriel that you’ve got your own business,” Chuck said. “And out of everyone here, you’re the only one I’d trust to raise him right. Plus, you don’t live anywhere near Chicago, which should appease Kelly’s family. They might not want Jack, but they’d throw a fit if he was raised around the family of Kelly’s – well, you know. Which is another reason why I shouldn’t be the one to raise Jack. Luke will be out in a few years and I don’t want him to get one glimpse of Jack. The only reason they let me take him is because I promised to not let Luke anywhere near him.”

“If they care so much, they should raise him,” Cas said, crossing his arms.

“They care about Kelly,” Chuck said. “Not Jack. And I’m worried that they would see too much of Luke in Jack to truly love him.”

Cas looked down at Jack, who had sat down on the floor and was eating a nougat bar that he’d seemingly gotten out of nowhere. Jack looked at him and after one look at Jack’s childish face and innocent blue eyes, Cas was caught hook, line, and sinker. He _did_ want kids someday and with Dean, they’d have to adopt or enlist the help of a surrogate, both expensive options. But here was a child who needed a home, had a despicable excuse for a father, and was a blood relative.

“I like nougat,” Jack said simply with a wide smile that showed off his chocolate-coated teeth.

“Oh yeah, he’s hooked on sugar,” Chuck said. “Blame Gabriel. What do you say, Castiel?”

* * *

 

“We’re adopting a kid?” Dean cried out, arching his back as he came violently. Cas shuddered and collapsed in the mess between them, limbs shaky and jelly-like.

“Surprise?” he panted.


End file.
